October 12, 2022

Good morning, sweet friend! 💜

I am more excited than ever to be with you today and to share a powerful tool with you that we just used in our own lives. 😀

Last night around 3 am, I woke up to a soaked child who had accidentally wet the bed and needed help changing his jammies.

While I was awake, I noticed that Chad was still up, and he was having a really hard time processing some strong emotions.

He was typing out his feelings to let me know what was going on with him.

He is an incredibly grounded human being, and he does a hell of a job processing all of the things that he sees and does at his job- mostly on his own.

But sometimes in life, our usual ways of coping with our thoughts and emotions just don't cut it.

We can get so stuck in a thought that feels like a big hairy beast threatening to take us down.

Being the counselor that I am (sorry you can't escape that, Babe 😘), I brought him down to the room where I process many of my own challenging thoughts and emotions, and I started writing down the thoughts that were bothering him.

Together we went through a very powerful process for releasing those "sticky-as-crap" thoughts, and we were more connected than ever by the end of his session.

This process is what I'd like to share with you today.

Byron Katie (or "Katie" as everyone knows her) developed a set of questions that she calls "The Work" for processing through those tricky thoughts and emotions.

If you have a thought that's been bothering you lately, I encourage you to write it down right now so we can work through this together.

The first question you will ask yourself is, "Is this thought true?"

Can you absolutely know for certain that your thought is true?

(Hint: If the thought feels yucky, it's not true for you.)

Next you can ask yourself, "How does it feel when I believe this thought?"

What are all of the emotions you are feeling every time you think this thought?

Now, "Who or what would I be without this thought?"

Would you feel free, happy, relaxed, loved, etc.?

Finally, you are going to turn that thought around and write down some opposite alternatives to the thought you've been thinking.

There can be many different ways to turn the thought around so I'll give you our example from last night so you can think of different ways to turn your own thought around. 

Chad was thinking, "I don't feel connected to you, Amber."

So, the different ways you can turn that thought around are: "I do feel connected to you" (which obviously wasn't true either) or "I don't feel connected to me."

That's where we hit the nail on the head.

He thought he was connecting with himself and getting his needs met, but he was still saying yes to a lot of things where he really meant "no".

So, he was disconnecting from his truth.

Many times, that's when we start feeling yucky- when we disconnect from what's true for us and choose to make someone else happy over our own happiness.

Once you turn your own thought around in as many ways as you can think of, decide which version feels like it resonates most powerfully with you.

Often, when you're having a troubling thought about something outside of you, that thing or person outside of you is really just mirroring back to you what you have going on inside (as ridiculously frustrating as that can be sometimes 😛).

I hope you can use this process today to find a thought that feels better than the one you may be struggling with, and I look forward to sharing another tool with you next time!

Much love to you,


P.s. If you want to learn more about Byron Katie's "The Work" and how to process through difficult thoughts, I highly recommend her book Loving What Is. You can buy it here if you would like to gift me with a small commission at no extra cost to you. I am an Amazon affiliate who only recommends books and personal development products that I personally own and love. ❤️

If you would like to create a life that excites and delights you, you can buy my book Celebrating Your Life here.

If you missed my letter about Human Design, you can find it here.

You can read my next letter called Create Something here.

You can connect with me on Facebook at facebook.com/amberkissler33.

You can follow me on Tiktok at tiktok.com/@authoramberkissler.

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