Thank you for being here today!
I am in a 5-day Facebook challenge with my mentor Rose Tautari, and she encouraged each of us in the group to use our creative outlet to explore the topic of perfectionism.
Buckle up your seatbelt and come along for the ride if you wish.
I was raised in a home where straight As were expected, church attendance was required (even if I was really sick), and mistakes were punished. (My parents meant well and wanted the best for me.)
I attended a private school where the rules were strict, and I had to be the perfect Christian. No pressure there!
I lived in a box made of so many people's expectations of me, and it's no wonder that I was labeled as majorly depressed at the age of 27.
I spent years unpacking all of these expectations and trying to find myself again.
Heck, I'm still in the process of digging me out of the pile of poo.
What I have learned from all of these years of healing is that perfectionism is nothing more than that tiny box that we all try to fit ourselves into to gain love and acceptance from others.
It is the unattainable goal of trying to water yourself down so much in order to please others that there really is none of you left.
Perfectionism creeps up on me whenever I'm thinking about how someone else might view me or my work.
Will my husband think that the house is clean enough?
(He doesn't care if I don't clean, but I just think that he does.)
Will our homeschooling evaluator think that Kaylie and I have done enough during our year of school?
Will the HOA be pleased with what we are doing in our yard?
Will you like what I'm writing about in my letters to you?
Think about all the times when you feel the need to be perfect.
Doesn't it often involve someone else's opinion of what you're doing or at least someone else's voice in your head telling you to do it better?
Yes, a lot of us have expectations of perfection that we place on ourselves since we like to do things at a high level, but it's likely because we learned that the output of our work is more important than the fun we have while doing our work.
If you like things to look a certain way and you have fun spending the time to get them just the way you want them, that is great!
The kind of perfectionism I'm talking about here is the kind that feels like you must keep working on something until it is spotless and beyond judgment because you must please someone else.
This kind of perfection sucks the joy out of everything.
What if you finally got fed up with doing things with this kind of pressure on your shoulders?
What if you decided that you don't give a rip what anyone else thinks of your work as long as you like it?
What if you could accept other people's judgments with grace and ease?
One of my favorite mentors is Dr. Dain Heer of Access Consciousness.
He teaches all sorts of magical, wacky tools to help you change anything in your life.
I adore the silly tool that he taught me about receiving judgment with ease (you can watch the video below).
Each time you allow someone to judge you without hiding yourself in a box, you receive $5000 more that year.
Dr. Dain says that when you are willing to receive anything (including judgment), you get to receive more abundance too.
Whenever I notice that I am raising my own walls to keep judgment away, I like to visualize those walls coming down, and I see myself holding a bottomless bucket.
I receive each judgment into that bucket and allow the judgment to dissolve into the earth while I stay in the receiving mode of all of life's gifts.
I invite you to play with this tool, because it really is a lot of fun!
When someone is on my butt when I'm driving in traffic (because I'm married to a cop and I drive the speed limit ), I can almost guarantee that the person is judging me for being slow.
I say in my head, "Cha-ching! Thank you for the $5000!"
Being willing to accept judgment without agreeing with it or absorbing it into your body will open up a whole world of possibilities for you!
Perfectionism will no longer be a thing in your life, and even if you notice it trying to creep back in, you get to decide that you're not going to squeeze yourself into that tiny box anymore and you get to create whatever you want to create.
You get $5000 for every judgment after all!
Cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching!
I hope this letter has been tremendously freeing for you, I love you, and I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
Much love to you,
P.s. To learn more wacky tools from Dr. Dain, I highly recommend his book Being You, Changing the World. It's one of my absolute favorites! You can buy it here if you would like to gift me with a small commission at no extra cost to you. I am an Amazon affiliate who only recommends books and personal development products that I personally own and love. ❤️
If you missed my letter about Limiting Money Beliefs, you can find it here.
You can read my next letter Being Greedy here.
You can connect with me on Facebook at facebook.com/amberkissler33.