October 19, 2022

Hi there! I am so glad you are here with me again today! 💜

I have asked a few friends to share some areas of their lives where they would like to create some new possibilities, because I wanted to expand the conversation to include topics that are really important to each of you. Please reach out to me if there is an area in your life where you could use a new perspective and some creative solutions.

My sweet neighbor friend said that she feels responsible for how everyone around her is feeling, especially her family members. She said that she has a hard time making decisions, because she's always thinking about how each decision is going to affect someone else. This is a great topic to discuss since many of us can relate (myself included).

I've talked about making choices that please you in a previous letter (here), but I think it's a great idea to take this discussion a step further.

When you see someone that you love feeling less than happy or less than well, your focus on their negative mood or their illness only amplifies the undesirable place that they find themselves in. The only time you have anything to offer them is when you are focused on thoughts that feel good.

Here's something you can feel good about.

Did you know that every single person on this planet has come equipped with his/her own inner guidance and a whole team of invisible help that is lining things up behind the scenes for him/her?

We each have an incredible amount of well-being, love, joy, and abundance flowing to us at all times.

We just have to be willing to receive it.

The only reason that someone you love would be feeling less than happy or well is because they are not allowing themselves to receive all of the goodness that life is showering down on them.

Blocking life's gifts feels like crap!!!

The way you can help your loved ones to allow their own well-being is to lead by example. If you are following your joy (you can read more about that here) and going with the flow (here), you can't help but be ridiculously happy.

When you are happy is the only time you ever have anything to offer anyone else.

As your loved ones watch you follow your joy and make the best of whatever situation you're in, they will see what's possible in their own lives. They may not know how to get there, but you can certainly share with them the importance of following their joy.

In human relationships, we tend to equate love with how much we're willing to sacrifice and suffer for another person, but what if we'd be willing to open up to a new possibility for our relationships?

What if you were willing to be 100% you (by selfishly following your joy and your inner guidance), and by doing so, you inspired others to be 100% who they are? Can you imagine how much better all of your relationships would be if you each brought 100% of yourselves to the party to have fun each time you got together? 🎉

If your loved ones are unwilling to choose joy and well-being in their own lives, can you simply focus on the joy and well-being that is flowing to them right now and go do something that will bring you more joy instead of thinking about their less-than-desirable situation?

 You never know when they might be ready to create something in their own lives that will bring them joy.

Even though it's not fun to disappoint others or to watch them block life's blessings, it does them no good for you to make their choices for them or to stand on your head in a million different ways to try to fix things for them. 

You cannot bring a lasting sense of happiness to anyone else's life. 

They must choose it for themselves.

If this has resonated with you at all, you can now choose to let yourself off the hook for ever having to make anyone else happy ever again, and you can let those in your life off the hook for ever having to make you happy ever again.

 You get to be happy now regardless of how anyone else is feeling (you can only uplift them from your place of happiness anyway), so please go choose what would bring you joy today.

Let me know what shifts you experience in your relationships as a result of today's chat, and please reach out to me if there is a subject that you would like me to talk about in one of my next letters.

Next time we'll discuss more about how this feeling of responsibility plays out in our role as parents.

Much love to you,


P.s. If you would like additional help with finding thoughts that feel good and choosing your own happiness no matter what anyone else is doing, I highly recommend the book The Astonishing Power of Emotions by Esther and Jerry Hicks. You can buy it here if you would like to gift me with a small commission at no extra cost to you. I am an Amazon affiliate who only recommends books and personal development products that I personally own and love. ❤️

If you would like to create a life that excites and delights you, you can buy my book Celebrating Your Life here.

If you missed it, you can read my last letter about your Bucket List here.

If you would like to read my next letter about Appreciation, you can find it here.

You can connect with me on Facebook at facebook.com/amberkissler33.

You can follow me on Tiktok at tiktok.com/@authoramberkissler.

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