Thank you for all of the birthday wishes for Kip!
He is loving his new hoverboard!
After I sent out Wednesday's letter, I got a text from a dear friend saying that, about 30 minutes after I posted the letter about money, she received news that she'll be getting a surprise bonus at work soon.
She asked if that was a sign.
That is absolutely a sign from the Universe that she has become open to receiving more and more into her life.
It's also a sign for the rest of us.
When you hear about someone receiving something that you want, you can either get jealous and block the flow of abundance that is coming to you, or you can celebrate their success with them and get excited that your abundance is coming soon!!!
There is plenty to go around and more than enough abundance in the Universe for everyone.
How cool is it that you and I will soon experience greater abundance because we are celebrating with my friend who is currently experiencing a shower of abundance?!?
Last week, I promised that we would talk about the guilt that we sometimes feel in parenting when we take time for ourselves (thank you, Soul Sister, for the topic suggestion ), and this conversation also applies to you if you have relationships in your life that you have a hard time pulling away from when you are craving alone time.
Let's talk about what it means when we feel guilty for prioritizing ourselves.
I discussed this a little bit in the Please Yourself letter (here), and now we'll take a deeper dive.
The first thing to know if you're ever feeling guilt is that you are thinking about a situation much differently than how your inner guidance is viewing it.
If a thought pops up that makes you feel guilty (like, "I don't deserve to take this much time for myself"), then that thought simply isn't true.
You can use The Work (here) to flip that thought to something that feels true for you like:
"I absolutely do deserve to take this much time for myself. My family gets the best of me when I have a full cup, and they absolutely deserve the best of me."
"Five minutes with happy me is so much better for them than hours with crabby me ."
It is my personal belief that your child chose you to be his/her mother/father based on who they know you really are, and you can only be who you really are when you are taking the time to nurture yourself and do what lights you up.
You being who you really are inspires your child to be who he/she really is and to do the things that light him/her up.
How fun is it when our loved ones are being 100% who they really are and we are being who we really are so we all just have a blast being together?!?
Do you really want your kids to give up who they are and the things that make them happy in order to make other people happy?
Giving up any part of yourself to please someone else or to spend time with someone out of guilt or obligation will only bring bitterness into the relationship instead of closeness, connection, and authenticity.
As a parent, you sometimes have to be willing to be judged as a "bad" parent in order to feel free and to do what brings you joy.
Are you willing to receive that judgment?
Whenever you think that someone might be judging you, try to lower the walls that you have around you, allow the judgment to flow right through you to the center of the earth, and send love to whoever is judging you.
Their judgment says more about them and what they're dealing with than it does about you, so if you don't block them but send them love instead, you'll be amazed by how much lighter and more free you feel.
If you can be willing to receive judgment and to do whatever you need to do to follow your joy (even if that means taking lots of time for yourself to do what lights you up), you will see how everyone in your life is uplifted by your presence.
Then you truly have something to gift to your loved ones and to the entire world.
Your kids always benefit when you do things to nurture yourself.
My kids get so creative when they play together or individually when I am having my "me time".
It gives them space to be who they are and to figure out what works for them when I'm not constantly directing their activities, fixing everything for them, or telling them what to do.
Your tool for today is to take time to care for yourself and to fill your own cup so that you can be the biggest blessing possible to your loved ones.
If feelings of guilt or obligation pop up, you can flip the thoughts that are going through your head or simply just say to the thoughts, "Thank you for sharing" and then go back to enjoying yourself knowing that you are creating more for your entire family when you carve out time for you.
I hope this letter inspires you to give yourself permission to engage in really good self-care from now on.
I love you, and I look forward to talking with you again next week!
Much love to you,
P.s. I highly recommend Possibilities in Parenting if you'd like a taste of the possibilities that could exist in your family life and parenting journey when you stop judging you for anything you are choosing. You can buy the book here if you would like to gift me with a small commission at no extra cost to you. I am an Amazon affiliate who only recommends books and personal development products that I personally own and love.
If you would like to create a life that excites and delights you, you can buy my book Celebrating Your Life here.
If you missed my letter about The Meaning of Money, you can find it here.
You can read my next letter titled Fun or Work? here.
You can connect with me on Facebook at facebook.com/amberkissler33.
You can follow me on Tiktok at tiktok.com/@authoramberkissler.